[ It clicks as to what's happening. He remembers episodes like this from when they were younger. Of Naoya waking up panting with his heart racing in the night, having a panic attack.
He remembers thinking it odd, when he was so young, checking it off as just him afraid of the dark.
It's definitely not that.
Kazuya pulls back more, giving Naoya the room he needs. ]
It's alright. You're safe, Naoya. You're not trapped.
[He takes a few deep breaths, his heart starting to return to its normal pace. He'd had episodes like this when younger, when Kazuya would unintentionally pin him down in his sleep. It wasn't that he was afraid of touch, it was just...]
[He's been trapped for so long. His very soul aches at the restraints that he's been dragged down in. He closes his eyes and centers himself.]
[It's fine. He's safe. He flushes slightly and turns away.]
... I've been trapped too many times. It's not... your fault.
[He presses his face against Kazuya's chest. No. Not while he's like this. Not while he's vulnerable. He can't let anyone see - even if he knows that there's no one to see it.]
... It's not your fault.
[Not his fault that he's so strong... it's his own fault. But admitting that out loud feels... awful. So he won't.]
[Alright. Naoya doesn't want him to leave, so he won't. He'll bring an arm up over his shoulder, letting it hang down his back. This way it's not trapping him, and he can move either left or right to escape, should he choose to.]
I know.
[He repeats again, ducking his head down against Naoya's.]
[He huffs and closes his eyes. He's so trapped and it's difficult to feel as if he'll never escape. He's doing what he can, but he's failed - at least in his own timeline. He'll figure something out, but it's... disheartening.]
[Did he - ugh, he's too tired. He could have phrased it better. But he sighs as Kazuya calls him 'brother'. It's true, but he knows the other doesn't like to say it.]
I know. I... just don't like you having to bear any of what I have.
[He doesn't like to say it in public spaces, between the two of them, it's fine.]
Naoya... You're not alone anymore. You don't have to keep things to yourself and bear it all on your own. You can share your burdens, I'm not going to leave you.
[It's one of the reasons he'd bound himself to him, after all.]
[He repeats it, softer this time. He's doing his best. He's fortified himself, used to defending on his own. But to let someone else in? To truly let them in? It's hard. It's the hardest thing he's ever done.]
I have... dreams. Memories. They blend together... but nearly all of them have some amount of feeling trapped. Small spaces, bound by promises, or physically being held down... it's rare that I see open sky in my dreams.
[ He doesn't want that for Naoya. Any of it. He doesn't want him feeling trapped, either physically or in his dreams. He doesn't want him to have nightmares. ]
Then I'll figure something out. To help you stop having these dreams. We can dreamwalk here, right? So if I go into your dreams, maybe I can fix them.
[It's... dreamwalking, right? Wouldn't that entail him being asleep too? Or maybe not... Either way, he's determined now. Naoya has had these nightmares for as long as he can remember, which means that he's had them longer still.]
I'll ask some people around who've been here longer than me how to do it. They might know.
[He relaxes slightly, a little soothed by Kazuya's determination. He has to hope it's enough. He's afraid of subjecting his brother to this - but what else can he do? He's constantly on the edge of losing his mind, and he can't do that. He can't allow it, not in this life. Not with Kazuya so close to him.]
I would expect the King of Demons to be brave enough, yes.
[It was a bad joke, but he pushes that aside. He's not wrong, and wouldn't Naoya do the same for Kazuya?]
[(He would. He couldn't do anything but help Abel - Kazuya.)]
Always the hero, huh? ... Just like in those shows you used to watch. All right, all right.
[In theory he could try to send Kazuya directly into his consciousness like he did with Kuzuryu... but he's not eager to try that. That would be extremely dangerous for both of them.]
I've already got the black cape, no outdit designing needed.
[ He's not going to argue right now on the fact he doesn't think he's even cut out to be an anti-hero either. Really, he's basically just a villain at this point. ]
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(no subject)
Is Naoya okay? Is the first thought he has, pulling his long gangly limbs to himself only to reach back out towards him and hover in concern. ]
What happened? Are you alright?
(no subject)
You're. Trapping. Me. I can't -
[His apartment is small but not claustrophobic. That's by design. Being held down is... not great for him.]
(no subject)
He remembers thinking it odd, when he was so young, checking it off as just him afraid of the dark.
It's definitely not that.
Kazuya pulls back more, giving Naoya the room he needs. ]
It's alright. You're safe, Naoya. You're not trapped.
(no subject)
[He's been trapped for so long. His very soul aches at the restraints that he's been dragged down in. He closes his eyes and centers himself.]
[It's fine. He's safe. He flushes slightly and turns away.]
... I've been trapped too many times. It's not... your fault.
(no subject)
[But it also doesn't feel great, to be the one who caused the panic attack to begin with.]
Do you want me to leave?
(no subject)
[He presses his face against Kazuya's chest. No. Not while he's like this. Not while he's vulnerable. He can't let anyone see - even if he knows that there's no one to see it.]
... It's not your fault.
[Not his fault that he's so strong... it's his own fault. But admitting that out loud feels... awful. So he won't.]
(no subject)
I know.
[He repeats again, ducking his head down against Naoya's.]
(no subject)
[He huffs and closes his eyes. He's so trapped and it's difficult to feel as if he'll never escape. He's doing what he can, but he's failed - at least in his own timeline. He'll figure something out, but it's... disheartening.]
I didn't mean to wake you.
(no subject)
[ He'd have rather gotten woken up than for his brother to suffer in silence anyway.
He pats his back, hopefully soothingly. ]
I'm more worried about you.
[ But... he also doesn't really know how to comfort Naoya properly. It's always been reversed, with Naoya comforting him more often than not. ]
(no subject)
[He doesn't need to, but... well. He can.]
Your strength is just... unusual. In terms of those I share a bed with.
(no subject)
Going to actually resist saying something about it, and instead focus on him. ]
I'm going to worry about you because it's my job as your brother to worry.
(no subject)
I know. I... just don't like you having to bear any of what I have.
(no subject)
Naoya... You're not alone anymore. You don't have to keep things to yourself and bear it all on your own. You can share your burdens, I'm not going to leave you.
[It's one of the reasons he'd bound himself to him, after all.]
(no subject)
[He repeats it, softer this time. He's doing his best. He's fortified himself, used to defending on his own. But to let someone else in? To truly let them in? It's hard. It's the hardest thing he's ever done.]
I have... dreams. Memories. They blend together... but nearly all of them have some amount of feeling trapped. Small spaces, bound by promises, or physically being held down... it's rare that I see open sky in my dreams.
(no subject)
Then I'll figure something out. To help you stop having these dreams. We can dreamwalk here, right? So if I go into your dreams, maybe I can fix them.
(no subject)
[He shakes his head and - hm...]
I don't know how much fixing you can do. I haven't figured out how to dreamwalk intentionally, but... I suppose it might be possible.
(no subject)
[It's... dreamwalking, right? Wouldn't that entail him being asleep too? Or maybe not... Either way, he's determined now. Naoya has had these nightmares for as long as he can remember, which means that he's had them longer still.]
I'll ask some people around who've been here longer than me how to do it. They might know.
(no subject)
[At least he can hope Kazuya will be subtle about it.]
... You're going to see some very awful things, you know. If you do this. Humanity at its worst.
(no subject)
[Which is... scary. It's scary that Naoya has gone through such things with no help. No support of his own.
He hates it. He hates it so much, and he has to resist from wrapping his arms around him entirely and hugging him tighter.]
You're not going to scare me off.
(no subject)
I would expect the King of Demons to be brave enough, yes.
(no subject)
I'm doing it because you're my family, because it's something I can do to help.
(no subject)
[(He would. He couldn't do anything but help Abel - Kazuya.)]
Always the hero, huh? ... Just like in those shows you used to watch. All right, all right.
[In theory he could try to send Kazuya directly into his consciousness like he did with Kuzuryu... but he's not eager to try that. That would be extremely dangerous for both of them.]
(no subject)
Not that he'd turn anyone aside if he could help them, but he does have priorities. ]
You and I both know I can't be a hero. Besides, a red outfit wouldn't suit me.
(no subject)
[He yawns, feeling secure in Kazuya's grasp.]
But... we can design that for you later...
(no subject)
[ He's not going to argue right now on the fact he doesn't think he's even cut out to be an anti-hero either. Really, he's basically just a villain at this point. ]
(no subject)
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