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[crouching_sin]

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[crouching_sin]

I already said I don't trust them. Get off my back.

... He's that kind of person, honestly. I'm not sure where the line that he won't forgive is at, but he's useful to keep around so I don't want to find out.

[belheir]

[Holy shit, Naoya.]

I guess that explains why you're not too broken up that I nearly killed him.

[What with seeing him only as useful, and all that. Typical Naoya. This conversation is kind of leaving a bad taste in his mouth...]

He's more than useful, you know. He's my friend. And I feel like shit for the fact that I almost did that to him.

[crouching_sin]

I ran out of the ability to truly care about most people a long time ago.

You, however, haven't. Which is one of the reasons I want to help you fix this problem - I don't want you to burn yourself out of that ability.

[belheir]

Maybe you should think about actually getting that ability back. I might not mind being your pawn, but I'm sure other people do, and I'm not going to be happy either if you upset him.

[crouching_sin]

Don't you think I would if I could? I'd have at least had more fun.

You're still my brother.

[He writes that and quickly scribbles it out. He'll just. Leave it at that.]

[belheir]

I think you're making excuses for yourself so you don't open yourself up to being hurt anymore.

[crouching_sin]

[It's a few minutes before he responds. Honestly he was considering not responding at all.]

I had to. It took a while to happen.

[He could name any number of clinical responses or explanations. But none of them really matter...]

I don't think I can do it anymore.

[belheir]

To be hurt is to be human. And maybe you've lived countless centuries, but you're still human. You're going to be hurt either way, and with as lonely as you are, I think the inevitable hurt is worth making genuine friends out of people.

Yeah, it sucks what happened to you. I don't agree with your punishment. But I'm in the very same shoes you're wearing now myself, and I'm not going to let that stop me from making connections with people.

I'm going to remain as human as I can. Forever.

[crouching_sin]

[He wants to argue. He wants to tell Kazuya that he's wrong - but he promised to not lie. Even as he can feel himself starting to form the thought, he pushes it aside.]

I'm glad that you will.

Though genuinely making friends... I don't know. Friends support each other, yes? ... I don't want to put that weight on someone that I might care about.

[belheir]

That's because it's hard to think that you're a burden to people you care about.

The people who care about you in turn would tell you you aren't. Give them a chance. Especially here. This place has all sorts of weirdos like us around.

[crouching_sin]

Emotional vulnerability isn't my strong suit. But I wouldn't even know where to begin.

Though I suppose starting with a creature that signifies rebirth isn't the worst idea.

[belheir]

It's certainly poetic, if nothing else.

[crouching_sin]

And here I was thinking you would call me lame. Again.

[belheir]

I think we've already established that I'm the cooler brother.

[crouching_sin]

Says the one whose first manifested spell was fire.

[belheir]

Also poetic. Because Prometheus first gave man fire to help them. And it definitely helped, look at me now.

[crouching_sin]

Doesn't make you cooler though.

[belheir]

[...]







No, it makes me hotter.

[crouching_sin]

[...]

Fuck off.

[belheir]

What, can't handle the heat?

[crouching_sin]

Get out of the kitchen.

[belheir]

I won't. Someone has to keep you alive.

Anyway, I was thinking of coming clean to Joshua. About everything. Not that I want to get him involved, but after what I did, I think there's some stuff he should have the right to know.

[crouching_sin]

If you're looking for permission, I won't stop you. If you're looking for objections to it, I have none. He knows enough on my end to probably piece enough together to get an idea of the picture.

At this point not telling him would just leave him with a distorted idea of it. Probably better to just let him in on it.